Confessions

I confess...

I am that mom. You know her. The one that only posts pictures of her adorable baby on Instagram. It's not that there isn't anything else fantastic in my life right now, but none of it is pure sweetness crossed with beautiful toothless grins and complete with a scrunched up nose wrinkle. I remember thinking I'd never be this bad about taking pictures of my baby.  I'd never take so many pictures of my baby for social media. Ahhh...young grasshopper... How could I have known that she would be this stinkin cute? I mean, really and truly, she makes the filters look good. I don't care if anyone hates that I'm that mom. Those people probably hate ice cream, rainbows, kittens, and all things good in this world. My baby is presh.

I confess...

You probably wouldn't want me for your child's teacher this year. Ugh. There. I've said it. I'm really ashamed of this one. With not having slept a full night in several weeks and being a slave to the boob, I wouldn't describe myself as the most patient human being when it comes to 5th grade silliness...scratch that...hormones. Your tears over the tear on your math homework will most surely get an eye roll and deep sigh from me. Your girl drama trifecta will each get the "You are being a pot-stirrer and need to mind your own business. You need to be nice. And YOU need to toughen up!"  And don't even dare tell me "You never told us that," or I may just tell you something else complete with unpredictable sentence structure and creative word choice. Boom!  There's your writing lesson, kid.  Like I said, you don't want me teaching your kid this year. 

I confess...

I am still rocking maternity pants. My poor husband doesn't know how to answer when I ask, "Do I look pregnant in this outfit?" Uhhhh...well...you have a giant band of elastic stretching up to your bra; but no, you're all good. I'm sure that's what he has to be thinking. He would never dare say it out loud though. I never planned on sporting these amazingly forgiving britches for this long. I think I must have figured that my hips would pull back towards one another like long lost loves. But no, apparently, they are content on keeping their distance.  I'm holding out hope for them though and encouraging them as often as physically possible. For now, a big thank you goes out to all elastic in my closet. And for all you pants with buttons, I haven't forgotten you. 

Truth be told, I'd like nothing more than to snuggle my little sweetness all day, snap countless photos, and watch her learn new things about her world- all from the comfort of my yoga pants. But unfortunately, I haven't found a way to get paid for that yet. For now, I'll continue to strap on my stretchy pants, smile, and tape up this homework on long division while I mediate girl troubles.  And I'll keep on being that mom with the adorable artsy pics and the witty hashtags; because let's face it, my babe is just too cute not to share.