Growing up Mama always was on me about my room. Now that I am older and married, The Husband has been on me about the garage. Apparently, it bothers some folks how I will keep things. I keep everything from old Tshirts and ticket stubs to old notebooks. Every time I go to throw something away I think about how it reminds me of some moment in my life. I fear that if I throw it away, then something as significant as a piece of me will be gone forever. Since my childhood Sunday afternoons consisted of cleaning my room for Mom, I decided to tackle the garage this Sunday for The Husband. Pictures from prom, college notebooks, and my students' drawings lay scattered in the garage as I went through each scrap and examined it for importance.
In my college freshman Geology 101 notebook I found a page that if I had thrown it away I would have lost a piece of me. And no, it has nothing to do with rocks. (For the record, Geology was the the one class in college of which I received a D. Who knew you actually had to know more than "This is hard and ugly. This is a rock.") Among these old dusty pages of rock names and drawings of rocks with smiley faces I found a letter that I wrote during class (may have something to do with that D). It was addressed to my "little Luke" and while reading it I remembered my 18 year old version of myself. I am so glad that I didn't throw away this part of me.
dear little luke,
i had no idea that i was going to love you this much. i keep dreaming about what type of person you are going to grow up to be and all of the events that are going to fill up your life. God has an amazing plan for you. i just cannot get over how cute and perfect your little features are. when you smile or make noises i could just eat you up. always know that i love you more than you can imagine and i will forever be here whenever you need me.
"do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10
It seems like back then I knew more about my true Rock than the clumps of mud and clay I was studying. And so that sweet little find is exactly why I cannot throw things away and why my room and my garage are forever going to be a mess. A whole mess of important pieces of me.
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waaaaaaaaaaaaaa sniff sniff waaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i wish you were my aunt emmie too. i'm a jellybean.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful...Makes me wonder what would I do if anything about you ever changed. Keepsakes...things you keep simply for the sake of keeping them far longer than your mind can remember that you did, flooding you again and again with the same emotions of that first moment you were moved to save them. In a world where too many things are discarded way too easily, you are a breath of fresh air. Everyone you love should know how lucky they are that you do. You are a treasure...a real keepsake...
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