1 Year Old

May 7, 2015

My dearest Effie,

Today is your first birthday.  Happy birthday, my sweet girl- the sunshine of my days.  This has been the wildest and fastest year of my life.  I’ve begged it to slow down so I can soak you up and drink you in a little while longer, but time just keeps on moving and you keep on growing and learning.  You are everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more than I ever deserved.   I’ll never forget you being placed in my arms in the calm, quiet delivery room and my heart feeling like it was exploding from my chest.  This year you have brought me so much happiness, matched with neverending worry, and lots of lessons in love, patience, and life.

When you learned to nurse, I learned to cherish the quiet moments spent alone with you.  Snuggling you in and smelling the top of your head became my favorite.  Those moments in the middle of the night reminded me that you needed me.  Don’t ever stop needing me.

When you learned to smile, I knew I would never be the same again.  I learned that I wanted you to be happy- always.  I also learned at that moment what it was to feel unconditional love.  Don’t ever let yourself stop smiling.

When you learned to laugh, I learned that it was the sweetest and most beautiful sound in the world- better than kitten purrs, ocean breezes, or wind chimes.  Whatever you do, don’t ever stop laughing and finding all of the joy that there is in life.

When you learned to put your paci in your mouth all on your own, I learned that you may not always need me for everything.  And I cried at that thought, but you were so proud of yourself.  Don’t ever forget how incredibly smart and capable you are.

When you learned to say “Mama” and “Dada,” I learned that you knew I was yours- forever and always.  I also learned that you were never going to stop talking.  Your baby babble is almost constant, and you have so much to say!  Don’t ever let anyone quiet your sound.

When you learned to “sweet baby,” I learned that you have a gentle heart, and I learned what it felt like for mine to squeeze inside my chest.  Don’t ever lose that gentle heart or love for all things.   

When you learned to crawl, I learned that you wouldn’t always be a baby and that it was happening faster than I was prepared for.  Again, I cried while watching you crawl away.  But the moment when you crawled back to me, I melted.  Don’t ever forget I will always be here for you.

When you learned to dance, I learned that you unfortunately might have your mother’s dance moves.  And for that, I’m sorry.  But for now, it’s precious.  Don’t ever stop dancing regardless of how ridiculous you might look.

When you learned to push the walker, I learned (very slowly) to let you go and also to stay out of your way.  You’ll grocery cart someone’s feet and laugh about it.  You’ve got things to do and places to see.  Don’t ever let anyone get in your way or slow you down.

Thank you for all of the lessons, the love, and the laughter this year.  You have made me a better version of myself and have made my life have such a sweeter meaning.  I love you always and look forward to all of the many lessons we have left to learn.  Happy birthday.   

Love,

Mama

Your Nursery

A girlfriend of mine is getting her nursery ready for her little love muffin due in October.  She's had several questions in preparing his room, and it made me realize yesterday that I never shared your nursery.  It is my favorite part of our house.  It is the most peaceful room and I love every part of it.  At night when I sneak in your room for your Dreamfeed, I look around your room and try to remember every single memory I have of putting it together.  I think back to when the room was Aunt Molly's, to it being our guest room and me having maternity clothes from your Aunt Laura strung all over the place, to the 2 "snow" days in February when your Daddy and I painted the sweet grey on the walls.  Yes, I have a lot of memories of that room becoming yours.
 After painting, your crib was the first thing that went up. I LOVE your crib.  It took some searching, but it is exactly what I wanted for you.

 The opening weekend of turkey season (March 15th- this is a date you will have to know as a member of this family.  It is like Christmas Day to your Daddy, Papa, uncles, and Luke) I spent some of my time making your sweet mobile.

Your bookcase and changing table belonged to Lukey and Lula.  Your sweet cousin Lula was kind enough to part with it for you.  Your book shelf holds all of your little treasures.

  

Cricket helped me sort through your many books, even though your Daddy was adamant that she NOT be allowed in your room.  

 Your bedding was from your sweet aunts.  I ended up also ordering the crib skirt to match.

 

  The week of my spring break in April, your Nettie came in town and helped your Daddy and me get your nursery all put together.  I was so afraid of hanging these pictures, but your Daddy and your Nettie did an amazing job of making sure they were perfect!  We also hung your curtains...this was quite the ordeal, but your Daddy was a good sport and your Nettie was a problem solver.

 

 And then we waited for your glider that we had ordered in March. When it arrived, we hung your mobile over it and your room was complete.  Well, almost complete...we needed YOU.

 

 

 The day your room finally became complete is a day I will never forget for as long as I live.  Pardon my greasy ponytail.  I had just had a beautiful baby.

Crib: Bratt Decor
Rug: Target
Curtains: World Market
Bedding: Carousel Designs
Mirror: Target
Glider: Stuckey Furniture (local)
Lamp with Pink Shade: Target
Lamb, Bunnies, and Tiger Prints: Animal Print Shop
Paint Color: Knitting Needles by Sherwin Williams

Bad kitty.

All of Your Perfect Little Parts

I can't forget your little tiny parts.  You are perfect in every way.

On the Day You Were Born

You are here!  You are finally here!  I keep pinching myself to make me believe you are truly mine.  (I also keep pinching myself to keep me awake, but that's for another day).  My sweet girl.  Today is your Daddy's birthday.  Yesterday your Lally was telling us all about the day he was born.  You are 7 weeks new tomorrow and I'm so afraid of forgetting any piece of the day you were born.  It was long.  It was tough.  But it was the most beautiful day(s) of my life- right up there next to the rainy day I married your amazing Daddy.

The night before you were to be evicted from my tummy, your Nettie, Papa, She She, Bry Bry, Lula, Lukey, Daddy, and I went to dinner.  It was great to be together.

Nettie and Papa spent the night at our house so that they could wake up with us in the morning.  I didn't sleep a wink.  I was so excited and nervous about becoming your mama.

In the morning, Nettie and Papa walked us out to Daddy's truck and gave us big hugs.  Now, they REALLY wanted to be getting in the truck with us at that moment, but Daddy and I had decided we needed some time to settle in to the hospital just the two of us.

My sweet girl, tears rolled down my cheeks in the dark for the entire drive to the hospital.  I thought all the way back to the first time I ever saw your Daddy, then through the years of our lives together, and how all those years brought us to this exact moment.  It was one of the craziest feelings I've ever had.  I can't explain the intense emotions that were drumming through my body.  Your Daddy took my hand and told me everything was going to be okay.  And like most times, he was right.  (But don't tell him I said that.)

When we got to the 3rd floor, I remember a nurse named Kim showed us to our room.  Two other nurses came to help settle us in.  I made sure to tell all of the nurses "Happy Nurses Week."  I wanted them to know I appreciated everything they were doing to take care of us.  I don't know if it was my acknowledgement of Nurses Week or what, but they were all incredible.  Seriously.  They are some of the most amazing humans to ever walk this earth.  Every single one was so kind and did anything and everything to make us comfortable.  I couldn't stomach half of their job requirements.  I have the biggest respect for nurses.  But let me stay on course.  This is all about you, my girl.

Those nurses left us at the end of their shift and then we met Barbara, or Babs.  She was a friend of some of your cousins, so I felt comfortable knowing that we had an "in".  Babs was our nurse for the day, and she was as awesome.  She even stayed on past her shift to be with us.  Dr. White came in to check on us and we started the pitosin to help get you moving.  Soon after, Babs made sure I had an epidural to help with the pain from contractions.  I was terrified about this, but it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. Again, your Daddy held my hand and told me everything was going to be okay.

Our family members started pouring in around 8:30, beginning with your Lally.  Around lunch time, she began taking bets on what time you would arrive, how big you would be, and what color your hair and eyes would be. 

I bet 1:30 p.m. because it was in a half hour and I was ready.  Of course, I lost.  Good news...we still won all of the money though.  Your college fund is already started with $12!

The day ticked by.  Your Nettie helped me breathe through the nauseousness with each contraction.  Your Papa quietly stood by watching my monitors while I slept.  Your Daddy sneezed into his shirt and practically bathed in hand sanitizer.  He had come down with a cold that morning.  Everyone kept coming back to check on me and to see if you were ready.  Your entire family was there waiting for you. They waited.  And they waited.  And they waited a whole lot more.  They were really patient.

At 7:00 p.m. when the nurses changed shifts Babs left us and in came Kim.  My oh my, the I love I have for Kim.  Kim gave me peppermint oil to help with the nausea and then dosed me with some Zofran.  She joked with our family and placed her bet on your arrival time and size.  She would gently wake me between contractions to change my position to help you move along.  Kim was an angel and she will forever hold a place so dear in my heart.  If you had an unmarried uncle, I would have married him off on the spot.

At 1:20 a.m. she woke me up to tell me it was time.  Dr. White, who also stayed on past her shift for you, came in the room, and in that moment I remember thinking how everything was so calm and peaceful.  Dr. White is also very special to our family.  She delivered your cousins years before you.  I began pushing at 1:25.  Your Daddy was on my right side and Kim was on my left both coaching me along.  Once more, your Daddy held on to me and told me everything was going to be okay.  At 1:36, I closed my eyes and pushed with all my might until I heard Kim tell me to open my eyes... And there you were... Your teeny little hiney staring back at me.  Dr. White's hands wrapping around your small chest.  And suddenly I felt as if my heart was now outside of my body; and I knew that my life -our lives- would never be the same again.  When they placed you on my chest, I held you close and told you everything was going to be okay- just like your Daddy said it would.  You are an amazing little miracle and you have stolen each of our hearts.  Welcome to our lives, Sweet Girl.  You have made my heart so full and our world so much more joyful.  We love you always.

  

ELE 

18 1/2 inches  5 pounds and 5 ounces 

May 7th, 2014

My Love

It is only appropriate that it is raining today.  Five years ago today it poured and it was the most beautiful day of my life. I am so lucky to have married the most amazing man on this earth who makes me a better woman every day.  I love you, my sweet love.

 

 

I Am Thankful

Right now I am thankful for...
1. My family's laughter and constant love
2. Milk Duds
3. Belly Bands and Elastic
4. Being allowed 1 coke a day
5. My students' smiles
6. Thank you letters from my old students
7. The giggles of my nieces and nephews
8. My snuggling Cricket
9. My sweet old man Bailey
10. My silly wild man Jack
11. My husband's endless hugs
12. Our growing Peanut
13. My girlfriends who are more like sisters
14. Raspberry Sorbet
15. Sunrises when I'm late for work
16. Our freedom
17. Thanksgiving break...Oh, how I am so very thankful for you!

Baby E

I have thought about you for most of my life.  I’ve wondered what you would look like, what talents you would have, and what great things you would accomplish.  I’ve also wondered what type of mother I would be.  Of course, I still don’t know the answers to these.  What I do know, though, is that you are being born to two of the most devoted people who love each other immeasurably; and we already love you more than you will ever know.  We call you “Our Little Peanut” and we can’t stop thinking or talking about you.  We get emotional every time we see your little heart beat flutter or your hand open and close on an ultrasound.  We know what a miracle you are to us, and we are already so very thankful for you.

As if our love isn’t enough, you have the most caring and adoring grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who can’t wait to get their hands on you.  Your cousins are already lining up to hold you when you arrive in May.  They have given you nicknames (Cinco and Cheffie) and have even made suggestions for names (ahem...Teapot).   They anxiously await news after every doctor’s appointment and are already discussing who you favor.  They are all loud and crazy at times; but one thing I know for sure is that you will never be shorted on love or affection.  You certainly are a lucky little peanut, and you are already bringing so much happiness to this family. 

Keeping 2012 Happy

Well, I wish I could say that I have spent the last 6-1/2 months traveling the world and was without internet access, but then again, I've never been a very good liar.  My last post on January 3rd was about my "Wall of Happy" which I have spent the last 6-1/2 months trying to fill.  I've done a pretty good job.
January
-We welcomed a new washer and dryer into our home!
February
 -We spent a weekend with my family in Edisto and saw Botany Bay for the first time- AMAZING.

   March
-We celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday and he handled it pretty well.
-My oldest friend and The Husband's cousin got engaged!  I couldn't be happier!
-Spent a (much needed) weekend with my girlfriends and one of them announced she's due in November.

 -The Husband and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.

 April
-A friend and I were invited to spend an evening on the tour bus of one of our favorite bands...yes, I felt like a well-behaved Penny Lane.

May
-I graduated with my Masters in Literacy Education...WOOHOO!  My amazing sister threw the best Graduation Celebration at her home...Happy Cinco de Mayo!

-Matt came to visit all the way from Montana!
-We welcomed a new air conditioning unit into our home!  

June
-My first year at my new school ends as my summer starts creeping in.
-We spent a week vacation with my family in Edisto and I drove the boat for the first time.

Photo taken by Sister

Photo taken by Brother

 -We celebrated The Husband's 30th birthday.

Keeping 2012 happy.  Hope you are too.

Wall of Happy

Some of you may call me crazy.  Some of you may find a bit of inspiration.  I can only hope for the latter.  Part of my resolutions for this year is to have no resolutions.  Instead I sat down last night and opened the journal I have kept since I was 10 years old and I wrote down my hopes for 2012.  One of my first hopes was "to be happy."  I have heard that happiness lengthens your years on earth, and I know that I want to stay here as long as I possibly can.

TO BE HAPPY.  As we know from previous posts, I'm a collector (not to be confused with hoarder).  I treasure ticket stubs, old pictures, old notes, shadowboxes, souvenirs, receipts, etc.  If it has any good memory attached to it, I will generally keep it tucked away somewhere.  Thinking about all of this, I created my own Wall of Happy last night on an open wall in my closet (it later spread to 3 walls).  I wanted it somewhere that I would see it at the start of every day and smile.  As happy memories continue to happen this year, I will add them to my wall. 

This morning I stumbled into my closet to find my Wall of Happy and IT WORKED.  My day started with a smile.

I smiled as I looked at old pictures of my family, the house I grew up in, cherished pets, and even an old magazine article I've kept for many years about the Dalai Lama. 

Find whatever it is that you need to be happy and may 2012 be your happiest year yet.

Something to Admire

The Husband and I just recently spent the night with two of the most incredible people to ever walk this earth.  They don't know it, but their every move and every word is watched and heard.  They are just that important to other people.  These two folks are loved so ridiculously by others.  Even more, they love each other wholeheartedly and when you are with them, you realize that their love for each other is contagious.  You see it and you immediately know what you want or rather, what you need.

After 64 years, she still cooks his breakfast and he still tells her it is the best he's ever had.  She still tells him that he makes her happy and he still jokes with her that it's because he's perfect.  She still worries about him and he still tells her that she needs to chill out.  She still occasionally tells stories wrong and he still reminds her of that.  He still teases her about growing old and she reminds him about how young he really is.  And after all this time, they continue to keep their promises to each other.

They can still tell about how they met, moved 7 different times, raised 3 hell-raising boys, and created the most amazing family of teachers, leaders, builders, protectors, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters .  They can tell you stories upon stories about their journey together.   Each story's significance is echoed in how their life has unfolded and how their values live on through their children, grand-children, and great grand-children.  I am as thankful for each event as I am for the two of them. I admire their love for each other, their family, and for their life together- as it all comes from the deepest and purest parts of their hearts.

Where I Have Been

I have been so excited about this post.  I could hardly wait until I got home to share where I have been, because I can promise you- there's nothing, absolutely nothing quite like it.

The last few days I have been digging my bare feet in the sand and smelling whiffs of old tobacco barns.  I have been covered in cat hair and dog hair and loving every minute of it.  I have been eating field peas with snaps and drinking Mountain Dews.  I have been hearing chickens, donkeys, tractors, and the hum window ac units mixed with Grandma's big band 1930s music.  I have been to a place where time is a lot s..l..o..w..e..r.  And let me tell you- it feels so good to slow down.  There's truly no way of explaining where I have been, so I'll just have to show you.

 

 

 

This is where my mama's from and this is where a lot of the parts of my siblings and I come from.  I see glimpses of us from time to time whether it may be in the swimming hole, in the barn, on the other end of a fishing line, or inside a giant magnolia tree.  Now, I even see it in these little faces...

Yep, this is where I have been.